saul williams writes...

(in the past year, I have gravitated towards saul as a strong hold and reference point.and am grateful to call him, friend. his perspective is certainly always a very intelligent one. However, what amazes me most about saul is the emotional integrity of his words, the affect of its influence on ones spirit, and his ability to recognize himself in light of experience in so many profound ways. his insight has provided confirmation and more times than not his aloof nature in moments reminds me i'm not alone in this process of living and growing. even in our difference of age and experience, i find myself connected, understanding. more importantly i feel understood, which for me is not something that happens very often. yesterday he posted a note that seems to echo my place of person. his tranformitive situation is similar and his support even in the midst of his own confusion is an amazing testament to his humility and personal glow. I thought I'd share the note with you all and perhaps it would serve as a beginning for others to articulate similar feelings, ideas, or thoughts. He titles it "The Art of Transformation" which seems fitting and relevant mostly because I am amused by the idea of it being an "art" so to speak. I find it horrifyingly beautiful in that way and respect it for the seeming vulnerable moments. I often find myself, saying "amen" when reading or speaking to saul and this in no way is meant to subtly comment on his pastoral upbringing having had a preacher for a father, but it is to say that this seems more like a calling and gift than random talent. it seems saul were being made for this type of recognition. that in his experiences both "good" and "bad", it is always still good. he can therefore speak from a real place where one can identify, a place of also having gone through. saul once corrected me about using the word "random" in a conversation where we spoke about how precise the universe has been in my placement, even my places of despair and heartache, how perfectly setting it has been for me and where it seems I am to go, how aligned things have worked their way to be. "nothing is random" and though random is not the word most worthy of my meaning, it seems ironically fitting and yet unsettling. things are working themselves out. it is all magnificently ordained, what is meant to be will be. grow always, aja monet)


The Art of Transformation (Vol. 1)
by Saul Willams

I am in a process of transformation, despite myself. Even with a clear understanding of God as Change, I sometimes fight and resist the changes that are essential to my being and growth. I fixate upon the challenges of accepting greater and greater responsibilities. I begin to desire results without maintaining the discipline that is required to manifest the necessary changes of heart and of mind, of balance, and inner harmony. I lose patience. I acquire doubt and debt.



The silent b
in doubt and debt
mutates our right
to be.

They crave control
of how we think
of how we feel
and see.

We learn
to shroud
self-mastery
with mystery
and fail

to understand
that even
within fate
is the power
of the will.

If freedom
needs a sanctuary
history needs
a cell

with bars
to keep
it’s hands
from reaching
out beyond
what mothers tell
their young.


We are
songs

in fact
anthems

unsung.

I am in the process of creating a masterpiece. I am not referring to any album, book, film or creative endeavor, rather, I am referring to the process of self-realization that aligns one with their highest and innermost ideals and values and renders them fully alive. It is a process of overcoming the obstacles imposed upon self, by self, perhaps society, and a fearful mind that refuses to accept the upward spiral of being. What I have chosen to embrace within myself are the very values I caught glimpses of as a kid when I questioned how a world so beautifully diverse in it’s simplicity could be made violently complex by the check-points and regulations of man in his quest to control and manipulate the forces of love and nature for the sake of individual gain and power. My decision to live my growth outwardly as an expression of my artistic being, and to earn my living as such, has forced me to engage with a reality that I might have otherwise evaded and has put me up against a cultural perception of entertainment as escapism, which has only enhanced a once non-existent desire to escape. There is no escape. Even my most recent move to Paris has simply shifted something deep within me as I wander through the ancient artifices of ambition, the dome-like cathedrals of clarity, and walled in worlds of art, I feel startlingly closer to my truth and a greater urgency for disciplined transformation. I am growing and have chosen to do so consciously and creatively while remaining engaged with both my inner and outer audience.

I am a reality show, tuning into myself on a daily basis simply to see which emotion tattled on which unchecked ambition. My mind gossips about the actions of my heart. My fears attempt to seduce the cameras for airtime. My soul would vote them off the show. I am checking my habits, re-acquainting myself with age-old disciplines. I am meditating and staying focused (which is a bore for that overactive mind which wishes no more than to follow a trail, any trail to more thoughts, pretty pictures, and inevitably inaction). I am starring in a spin-off of myself where I sing and dance and dress in pomp and costume. I am evolving while simply playing my part. I am staring myself in the eye without flinching or blinking, standing still while moving beyond what holds me in my place. But mostly, I am dancing, everyday, and sleeping perched above the skyline. And I awaken to a new day, a new season, the latest episode….