Thursday, July 30, 2009

"may all beings be happy"

for those of you wondering about the random posts of "O.I. Poems," I have been away upstate at Omega Institute, a center for Holistic studies, teaching and experiencing self in the most complex of ways. While away, secluded and focused, I have been trying to journal everyday consistently and have been writing a series of poems while I have been here. They have no theme, no thread. None of them have been edited or looked at for more than a few minutes, they're copied directly from my journal onto my blog (with corrected typos of course) and I guess its a pretty vulnerable thing because I am trying to get myself to write concise and articulate poems in a matter of minutes. This is why I have so many of them. I have been here a little less than a week and it feels almost like a month with all that I have been experiencing here. Its like I've been living lifetimes while away. With that being said I've written a little under thirty poems in a matter of five or so days that aren't all quite finished pieces, mostly the ones I've posted I think can be worked on in many ways but share them mostly cause they're the shorter ones. And also many of them are extremely personal and I havent the courage to yet share. But I am trying to get a bit more comfortable sharing written work via internet. I'm a bit intimidated by all that is out there and even still I am working through many things internally, while also battling a whole host of elitist writers in my head that believe form and writing should be dealt with in a certain way. I am aware of a very subtle form of discrimination within the literary world, see it with performance poets i particularly find far more outstanding than those with published books. But I digress, I would like people to experience my words more than read them and I've been trying to take the written form into a different place. Mostly, I write with words I like and put them in order as I think they should sound coming off my tongue. I enjoy not quite making sense to anyone but perhaps expressing some image in my head. While up here at Omega, we've been discussing in my workshop this "anguish with language" the difficulty in trying to use words that essentially stand as symbols and boxes for ideas, feelings, thoughts, emotions etc--had a lovely discussion with a man named Arthur today, we played around with different words and the sounds that exist within those words, it almost seems that "anguish" is in the word "language." The English language is a coded language and when attentively dealt with there are many hidden meanings within single words and their sounds. I've also been challenging myself to write about things most little brown girls from East NY, Brooklyn would never be expected to write about. I have had a wide range of experiences and it is important to me that I know how to write a verse over a beat and yet and still have studied language and its written capabilities...blah blah blah..Any way, maybe I will decide to continue posting up some of those "O.I. poems" But for now, I plan to enjoy a fudge brownie, the first sweet thing ive essentially had up here at an all vegetarian, healthy so excited!!

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