The SOUNDCHECK @ Santos--AUGUST 7th, 2009

Hey Yall,

So I haven't performed in the NYC in a minute and was contacted by a dope musician that I am a huge fan of, John West, to perform with him this summer at SANTOS here in NYC. Later found out that my homies, Oveous Maximus and Shanelle Gabriel were added to the list of performers and am glad to be a part of this show. Hopefully, those of you in town can make it!! Check out John West's dope music video for "Loved you tonight" :

brave new voices on HBO

this week I was able to attend the Los Angeles premiere of the new HBO television series. Shout out to Tanya Young who was extremely welcoming and warm with love and support and of course Shihan ;-) whose subtle awesomeness is often under rated. As for the screening, they showed the first two episodes of a seven episode series called Brave New Voices. I am in the first episode at the NYC Urban Word FInals where the making of the 2008 New York City Urban Word team took place. It was a beautiful evening and always brings me back to my year of slamming in 2005 at Washington Irving high school. I found the documentary-style film to be interesting and I look forward to seeing where it goes. It brought back many memories from my year of slamming in the Youth nationals and in many ways made me think of all the youth slammers before me, who will see this series as their mouths drop in awe of how far this movement truly has come, all the banging on doors and ears and walls praying that we would hopefully be heard by the masses... Had it not been for Brave New Voices in San Francisco and the experiences and friendships I made there, I honestly don't think I could have ever even imagined pursuing my aspirations and dreams so vehemently. I really believe there is some type of energy harvested at youth nationals that is incomparable to any other space or time. It is something to see it on television but what I hope this series inspires in people is the motivation to support and visit these types of events and poets.

Poetry has been a movement long before this show but what this show unveils is its depth and ability to express what only emotion endures and these young people are willing and open to the possibility of exploring their repressed emotions which then makes the educational process rather accessible. Spoken word and performance poetry has its own internal logic as with many arts. In light of this, I hope it helps to look at the art form as a means of healing. Surely, that is what it has been for me and countless other young people. I grew up before many people, performing and sharing my experiences as openly as I possibly could through language and stage presence and it has proven to save my life and at times to even explain a small part of my purpose and existence. I truly believe we all long to be understood and maybe simply, only to relate, to engage with each other. This series will hopefully open a small door where Def Poetry did not to the people behind poems, behind the audience and stage, to the growth and process of development.

Coming up through organizations such as Urban Word NYC has fostered a type of creative and work ethic in me that has made attaining my dreams and goals seem tangible. With mentors that give often so much of themselves it is incredibly magical to witness. Shout out to Queen Godis, she is truly a gift from some heaven where we store our hearts. Also, shout out to Celena Glenn, my personal inspiration and the reason why till this day the Urban Word NYC 2005 slam team is the only reigning NYC team to win Brave New Voices nationals (hopefully that changes this year ;-)

Some people may not know how necessary it is to be validated when you are young let alone period where often you are made to feel as though your voice does not matter and has no relevance to the adult realm but what I hope this series will do is invite people to see a bit of what has been taking place at Brave New Voices competitions with young people for years now...Be weary, the teller at your local bank, the teacher at your local public school, the student at your private college, the man sitting next to you on the train, and even the prison mate at your neighborhood facility... they may have all very well been a youth poet participating in competitions much like Brave New Voices, stirring souls of thousands and these voices may never get the recognition they deserve but they have inspired some life changing experiences. They are the real people that made Obama possible and even an expectation. Change did not simply occur overnight, no, it was a long before written poem scribbled in the notebook of some kid you never even thought twice to pay attention to... May we learn to listen to our youth differently and to read our spirits through their stories. With all that being said, check out the series. In spite of all the beauracracy behind the series and the commercial realm of things, I think this can be something positive for us to look to. I have my issues with certain individuals who have made it a point to monopolize off these young people's stories but let you be the judge and hopefully you will remember us not for our emotional vulnerability but for the fire it has ignited and the passion we have made with its embers...

always,

aja-monet

____________________________________________________________

HBO presents

Brave New Voices
A 7-episode series highlighting the voices of 21st Century America

Narrated by Queen Latifah

Airing on HBO ll PM ET/PT Beginning Sunday, April 5th

"Without language, we are nothing." -Jamaica Osorio & Ittai Wong

All over the United States, a new generation of poets is emerging. This new HBO series captures teenagers picking up the pen and taking hold of the microphone with passion, intelligence, creativity, honesty and power. These voices of 21st Century America transcend race, class, gender, orientation, and red state/blue state politics as they show us all what the next generation of leaders looks and sounds like.

Brave New Voices is a new seven-part series that features teenage poets and their mentors from San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, Santa Fe, Ft. Lauderdale, Honolulu and Ann Arbor as they prepare for Youth Speaks' 2008 Brave New Voices International Youth Poetry Slam Finals.

These young poets represent a growing national movement featuring thousands and thousands of teenagers writing and performing spoken word as a way to have voice in their communities and in the nation as a whole. These are the Brave New Voices and the organizations that support them.

The youth represent an amazing blend of spoken word, hip-hop, poetry, music, power, voice, imagination, and more. Brave New Voices sheds light onto this largely unseen world, putting an honest spotlight on some of the most dynamic young adults in the country.

The 2008 Brave New Voices Festival (BNV) was held in Washington, D, just three months before the presidential election. In the shadow of the White House, America's youth challenged each other with words and ideas.

For five outspoken days in July 2008, over 500 talented teen poets and spoken word artists from teams around the country joined together for workshops, poetry readings, late-night cyphers, political organizing, and of course, to vie for top honors at the National Youth Poetry Slam. They came from urban, rural and suburban areas, from the Deep South, Native American reservations, Hawaii, college towns and even from across oceans. Their backgrounds were diverse, yet they shared a passion for opening minds and hearts - starting with their own..

For many of the poets, the BNV festival was an eye-opening, life-changing experience. They left their family, got on a plane, performed in front of a crowd of thousands and found new opportunities for growth and friendship beyond borders. Equally life-changing was the four-month journey to get ready for the festival.

Eventually, one team rose above the rest to become the 2008 National Youth Slam Poetry Champion. But all were winners.

Join us for this unique four-month journey and listen to the Brave New Voices of today.

ClICK HERE TO SEE THE FIRST EPISODE ONLINE!

pictures!

Some may know that I admire the art of photography a great deal and am hoping to seriously pursue photography in the coming year. but in the mean time i love to be the lady in front of the camera as well as behind it. a great professor of mine once told me that all pictures are a self portrait of the photographer and i found that quite interesting. but i say all of this to say-- let this be a notice to all photographers...if you need a lovely lady to take pictures of as long as they arent nude photos (unless it involves painting the body) i'm down. haha. who says i cant be america's next top model. sike. i can't deal. but here are some photos a man by the name of peter dressel took not too long ago for an independent project he is working on. please check him out at peterdressel.com Let me know what you guys think.

always,
aja-monet

share MY poem:

a list poem
by aja-monet

You are a steady storm
a street light trembling
a field of shivering homes
a rusted goodbye pressed gently against the ear
whisper me a hurricane,
you are the flood
you are the knuckles of trees
set aflame.
You are the sky’s shoulder blades breaking
a cloud threading open
an angel folding his hands
the aftermath
a chandelier of fire tilting in my eyes
every time you leave.

so i joined TWITTER!!!!!!!

yes, yes I know... I have become victim to the internet status update frenzy. sue me. it is all peer pressures fault and the need to be cool has overwhelmed my sense of internet humility. i have just about joined it all. but it is a means to create a mass following of little internet addicts that resemble myself...it is indeed a new age in technology and by all means if you can support a sister in her endeavor, please do. i rarely if ever ask for money via product or support in that way. dont really have product like some other hustling poets out there, taking care of biz, on they CD and self publish grind. I'm still very self critical in ways that has not allowed me to put my work to an actual CD or book. I did one chap book like a year and a half ago. only a few people have those. (i am working on my book manuscript as well as some future product possibilities so be on the look out)So I ask for your support via word of mouth and these internet networks. tell a friend, bring a lady-poet such as myself out to your college or venue to perform, or just stay posted. i mostly enjoy the live performances so thats where people can catch me, but in order to stay connected and to parade my coolness i am taking advantage of the quirky swag of internet networking sites. so i ask that you take the time to get on the aja-wave follow me on twitter, myspace, facebook, or here. More importantly, spread the word. i only ask that you share who i am and my work with folks.i am hoping to someday have greater influence in that way. however i can get folks connected positively using my art as a frame of reference for love, honesty, and activism. thats my movement.

Click here to follow me on TWITTER

Click here to add me on MYSPACE

they estimate over 2 million gathered in DC for the inauguration...

It was all really last minute, when I finally convinced myself that I should make an effort to go to Washington, DC for President Barack Obama's Inauguration and though it was physically, a tiring trip, I am glad I was there. I was invited to perform for the NAACP's Pre Inauguration event which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I got to vibe with some good friends and it set up the motive for Ainsley, Sabrina, Javon, and I to road trip together. We spent our time marching through crowds, staying up all hours of the day in the freezing cold, eating all kinds of junk and it brought us together in a memorable way. Let me just say, the most consistent joke of the trip was generally pertaining to the amount of fur coats (real or fake) that we saw through out the trip. You wouldn't believe how many people walk out the house every morning swearing up and down their fur coat is in style. Hilarious. Anyway, I particularly enjoyed the Busboy and Poets Restaurant, ironically they turned down a perfectly great open mic opportunity with a whole host of poets in town. pretty stupid move on their part or at least the manager who argued it'd affect the shifts of his waiters blah blah blah. dude, like really, your whole shit is called "busboy and poets" and you have like ten poets from all over the country in town, its not everyday Obamas be President like this... i really think something magical could have happened, artistically in the context of where and what we were all there for...but whatever. just goes to show we aren't all prepared to change in order for real change to take place. it was a disappointment. I'll leave it at that. On to more important moments, I know at the time we weren't thinking this cause it was cold as an icebox while we were outside all day, but it was really something to see all those people flocking inside the Smithsonian for warmth. how we all shared space and made a way...if you were there im sure you feel me. in more ways than one this trip really fostered an energy that encourages unity and strength through numbers, we actually had many interesting discussions and arguments on this trip, about masculinity, politics of course, love, loss and everything in between but inspite of our differences and disagreements overall i think it brought us together. i learned something from everyone we came across and jotted down some beautiful observations.most people held a certain spirit throughout the weekend, a hopeful spirit. and of course, laughter was the greatest thing we could have ever thought to share with each other. I was journaling while we were out there maybe i'll excerpt some entry up here soon. but for now just wanted to share the photos I took. hopefully you'll enjoy them and see a bit of the way I experienced the inauguration right there in DC!

For more photos of the inauguration weekend I spent in DC CLICK HERE!

New York Magazine Video Look Book

So around two years ago Spring 2007, I was stopped by these two women from the New York Magazine that wanted to interview me about what I was wearing. I was conducting a performance exercise in Union Sq park so I was taken a little off guard but the guys from my workshop made fun of me and pushed me to do it. If you can tell I was a little geeky and cheesey the whole time cause they were watching along with every other NYer in the park. I also lost some weight since then haha. Also, Amy Loracca pronounced my name wrong which is really weird. But I just thought I should share with you all my geekiness... I miss the guys from this workshop... if you're out there reading this, shout out the the Odyssey House Brotherhood Poets of 2007!

Holly Port Photography

Hey Yall, so I have gotten my fair share of compliments on some of the professional photos folks have taken of me, I honestly believe it is all their doing. One beautiful photographer, mother, wife, and friend I want to tell you all about specifically is, Holly Port. She's responsible for most of those beautiful profile pictures I put up and even the headline picture of this blog. I want to encourage you to check out her work on her website. She's based out of Culver City in LA and captures some incredible moments of families, children, and couples. She is also, in part, responsible for much of the Obama support in Culver City, cosponsoring and producing pre-election events. Her energy is quite incredible and she has an infectious smile. She's also got some spectacular kids that speak Japanese and are beautiful models for some of her pictures ;-) (if you're reading this Holly, all my love to you!) I also encourage you to visit her myspace and add her. But for her website click here to see more of her work.

ask alexyss

to all the women out there that do not know about ms alexyss taylor... she sure is somethin else. I just wanted to share this clip and will later speak on the whole "vagina power" movement. In this clip she doesnt speak so much on vagina power as she does an altogether different issue with black women and their mothers. A good friend of mind, Eden Jeffries and I, have been really following this whole movement of female empowerent while trying to encourage women to take control of their sexuality and spirituality. What started as a humorous past time of ours, making fun of vagina power etc, has now turned into a somewhat important movement for us. Mostly, we find Alexyss entertaining and quite hilarious. She may not be the most exemplary of black women, but many of her points are relevant and valid. However, the character she plays is so outrageous that most people do not take her serious, let alone me. She plays her role well. All the profanity is not necessary but emphasizes her overt confrontation of sexuality. enjoy the extremity. she means well, or at the very least, i hope she means well...please note the classical music she has playing in the background while she cussin up a storm hahahahahaha, oh alexyss taylor....hahaha shout out to eden!! throw up the V! check my homegirl out on her myspace page: myspace.com/theedenism (i think she has some real music potential, don't you? lol)

AFRIKANUS

I particularly love this photo because it makes me smile everytime I see it. I call it " you need to take a deep breath and shut the fuck up." (lol inside joke) I am hoping to share more photos I take with people on here cause I take many and sort of pretend I'm a photographer in this alternate universe called my mind. I am pretty sure if I could afford the cameras of most professionals, I'd be able to take some ill shots. but for now, i'm working with what i got. As for Afrikanus, this man is far more than most people can handle but i got mad love for him. he's an ol school fella of Harlem, USA. For those of you that have met him and know him, yall surely understand the beauty of this picture even more. He means well most days, but sure wouldn't mind stepping on your toes with his theories and contradicting philosophies of blackness and masculinity. you can catch him any given sunday at Abiodun Oyewole's house of the Last Poet's getting it in with folks about their views, opinions, and poems...some people just get to that age where regardless of what ridiculous thing they say out of their mouth, you gotta pay dues and give your respect, Afrikanus is one of those people...you can catch me debating with him on the regular until then, it is always love....

a poem called "she"

a poem i wrote this past summer after having a conversation with a good friend of mine Simply Kat. I wrote it with a couple of women in mind including myself...


She lives in an apartment made of bricks
with a bathroom that sings of a fleeting heart
her kitchen faucet has a sore throat,
ends up in conversations with the skin of her ear drums
at night,
she loves in silence
dreams of a voice for making love
on white linen, stained
with well-worm human

In Octobers,
she imagines windows like the ones
along her new lover's spine,
tired of shoveling dirt over the graveyards
on her mother's wrists,
a daughter remembers
the switchblades tripping off the ledge
of her mother's
tongue
chicken-scratches her insecurities
on the mirrors of her eyelids,
licks suicide off the plate
clean
like a bulimic torn between the God that promises heaven
in her stomach
women
are
tired
of being hungry,
of gritty knees,
and calloused palms,
tear-stained cheeks,
and retired songs
she hums
prayers between the fingers of clenched fists
amidst whirlwinds

i wish i could tell this story like a lucid dream
could stitch heartache like loose strings at the seam
but i am tired
of spiraling
boiling
blood

you see,
love doesn't like to be fucked
from behind
lest i need to remind you of the missing artery
in your ribcage

boy, God ain't make no mistake
when putting a woman into your life

this, is for every
man
that has ever
laid a hand on a women:

May the wind blow against your skin
and you will
feel me
may she smack you the way
i never could

you will die
an old man with your hand balled in a fist
at the bottom of the atlantic
there will be a war
on the terror

may a thousand nails chase you in your sleep
claw at your flesh
like unicorn horns

angels will tear
their wings
from their backs
and beat
the shit
out of you
with them
feathers splattered wet
like abstract art

for they will fall
in your vanity
wishing to be human
just so they can show you
how its done

may a million battered women
march out of their graves
and dig their rest
in your trembling soul

and she wishes
she wishes she could say
all of these things
but us,
women
are said to have carried our hearts on our sleeves
always washing laundry
in case it bleeds thru the seams

she lives in an apartment made of bricks
with a bathroom that sings of a fleeting heart
her kitchen faucet has a sore throat
ends up in conversations with the skin of her ear drums
at night
she loves in silence
dreams of a voice
for making love
on white linen
stained with well-worm human

In Octobers
she imagines windows
like the ones along her new lover's spine

c.aja-monet

to miguel pinero

Being a Nuyorican Grand slam champ, I have definitely thought about the history behind the title. In fact the history of the venue is particularly what makes any Nuyorican title worthy of mention. It fascinates me how live the spirit of the Cafe is. There is no stage quite like a Nuyorican Poet's Cafe stage, and for anyone that says different, trust: go see for yourself. something is rather mystical about the building, the audience, the ambiance. It definitely has been imitated on every poetry television show, commercial, etc and yet could never be duplicated. I wasn't able to stay long but while I was there, this past friday was a semi-final night, and what an incredible night it was. Mahogany Browne is a remarkable host and is able to bring such a startling energy out of the crowd, a type of energy that is so rare and truly magical. She gets the crowd laughing and dancing that way they don't leave every week judging a poetry venue as just a finger-snap audience member overwhelmed with the range of evoked emotions. Her light-hearted Oakland by way of Brooklyn humor always sets the crowd afire with a warm joy.
Anywho, I think about ol school poets often, i refer to them for inspiration, guidance, and just wanna make sure I'm creating my own voice in this art. Not too long ago, I looked up "Miguel Pinero" on youtube hoping to catch some live footage of him and wat'd ya know, i found one real dope youtube clip. I don't think most people even know this is out there but take a look at it. Miguel was truly something. I hope us poets have made him proud, that Nuyorican is something he could've been truly proud of...sometimes i see miguel algarin sitting at the bar of nuyorican along with pepe's loud self. and well, most nights algarin is either a full bundle of true nuyorican humor or some days he can be a ghostly image of the past, appearing haunted--i wonder often what it must be like to see all that you've lived and loved come and go, to be truly a living legend while gentrification and time takes your neighborhood and cornerstone memories...i admire the man that he is in spite of the man he is not. may we never forget either of them...



check out: nuyorican.org

a poem i am working on, more like a recent freewrite...

Untitled

The only Puerto Rican I know
is the kind whose radiant rosebud sun
rises on a rusted fire-escape
in Washington Heights
and sets
in the black coffee
of an immigrant
grandmother
after cleaning
behind white folk
in a park ave hotel.
the mornings she'd make farina with bleeding raw cinnamon
she turned into the character of some book
i believed i had read called a memory in my childhood
how she used to lock food in her bedroom
wen she went to work
the way i know hunger like an angered stomach
feeding on itself
the kind of starving a wicked aunt
allows,
taunting
A flat-chested brown bean niece
how a man will never find me beautiful
never pale enough to be spanish

the kind whose uncle's crooked smile
And salami belly
clicked through football games
all Sunday
regretting
a dream
too American,
too much drive and passion
to pursue

the only puerto rican i know
is the kind whose prima
was too fast
and too insecure of
the round mango breasts God gave her
too early to know how to walk with them
how to hold her head high with them,
how to keep from losing
her virginity
some little boy's dirty fingers slipping btwn
her legs
sitting atop abuela's bathroom sink

the kind whose primo becomes
a yellow bumble bee of a latin king,
remembering the bodega on 189th where i'd get him loosies
they were a quarter then

whose grandfather dies
a loud carona-drunk
latin laughter, salsa dancing
in his grand daughter's memory

the only Puerto Rican I know
is my father
a running faucet of a man
who could never keep up with his legs.
a once told romantic love of a bitter woman,
who bore his child,
a fuming fire in her voice,
only to grow and grow
a warring soldier of love and loss.
reminiscing on his potters field mouth,
how his smile hurt me
his teeth were like tombstones
the way they stood in his gums like graves.
how his construction-work fingers grasped a heineken bottle,
flicked a newport cigarette bud
the way i saved them like souvenirs
the only puerto rican i know
i deny as my father
they called him angel
a wicked sweet joke
some God in the heavens found funny

c.aja-monet

Blah Blah Blah Poetry series!!

Alright, so the blah blah blah poetry series is back yall!! As for those of you that are not aware of this amazing show. Beau Sia, an amazing poet and friend, came to me a little around two years ago about producing a show at the Bowery Poetry club. the whole project created a means for us to collaborate and to also invite a great friend of mine to co-produce a series, Tahani Salah. It was a monthly series for three months last year and much to even our surprise it had an incredible turnout. Blah blah blah is very different from most poetry shows because it is a means to create a bridge between the younger performers and some of the ol school kats. We also have a highly competitive open mic sign up because every show we allow for 10 or so open micers to be showcased along with the features. We are starting the show back up this January and it is definitely going to be bananas. I encourage you all to tell your friends and try to make it there as early as possible because it is bound to be a crowded show!! thanks to all those that continue to support our endeavors. Shout out to Beau Sia for being an incredible mentor and friend in this process. As for Tahani, thanks for being there to ground me and always make me laugh in the midst of it all...

CHECK IT OUT:

BLAH BLAH BLAH IS BACK FOR ANOTHER YEAR!!

A new performance poetry series organized by Tahani Salah and Aja-Monet in collaboration with Beau Sia for the Bowery Poetry Club where we vocalize unity, good laughs, and even better poetry. Attracting a new audience to the club that adores the art of experiencing art and appreciating a moment that can never be replicated!!




CELENA GLENN:



"Pure lyricist, lovely”
– Saul Williams

Celena Glenn is a ballet-toed bulldozer shoveling blankets off the ice-covered lakes of the heart’s malfunctions. Former host at the Nuyorican Poets’ Café and two-time National Poetry Slam champion. She is currently ranked second in the World Poetry Slam. Celena is featured in Spoken Word Revolution a new anthology narrated by the creator of the poetry slam Marc Smith, and bullets and butterflies a queer poetry anthology to be released Janurary 2005. Also soon to be released is Slam Channel a documentary about the lives of contemporary poets in NYC and Austin, TX in which Celena has a main role. Celena urges that every ghetto, every suburb, every mansion recognize the relativity of circumstance and allow those elements that discriminate, to unify the world as a humanity of oppressed souls.


JAVON JOHNSON:



Merging race and gender theory with comedy, lyricism, and rhyme schemes, Javon has become a very awarded spoken word/slam poet. Javon began writing in 2001, winning slam nationals in 2003 (team Los Angeles), in 2004 (team Hollywood), and in 2005 he placed 3rd (the only poet to make finals three years in a row). Javon has appeared on HBO’s Def Poetry Jam, BET’s Lyric Café, and co-wrote a documentary titled Crossover, which aired on Showtime, in collaboration with the NBA and Nike. The Los Angeles Times said, “From subject matter, to wordplay to delivery, he is working it out! It's hard not to have good times while watching him have a good time on stage.” Currently Javon is a Ph.D. Candidate in Performance Studies at Northwestern University, where he deals with the performance of race, gender, sexuality class and pop culture. His dissertation is a multisided project between Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, which looks at identity politics and community negotiation in slam and spoken word poetry communities

Never

(Election night in Harlem C.2008 By Aja-Monet)

Last night
after the lips
of a desperate raindrop
came over the New York City skyline
and flooded the autumn
of our shedding faces,
a skeptical skeleton of joy came to me in a foiling dream
there was a childish laughter
giggling
in the faint voice
of my singing blood
and I lifted my face to a screaming world
a world of one old, weathered man beautifully, brown, bruised
walking down the drunk midnight of Bowery street
with a long trench coat wrestling the tug and tear of the wind
the warmth of a retired sun in his eyes,

we
did
it.

as he left into the disappearing point of distance,
amidst the honking horns of foreign taxi cab drivers
and the strained throats of jubilant by standers
I watched a city lit by a light no electricity could ignite
a skyscraper no building could reach,
a ceiling has fallen in some corner of the earth
where there is no sky and no breeze.

Tonight,
Obama is
our echoing mantra, our generations great romance.

Never
have I been more proud
to be an owl-wise woman
of shackles and shambles
of nooses
and deeply rooted tree branches,
of clarinet oceans and violin passages,
ambulant picket signs and riot flesh,
of thick waving curls and frowning hot combs,

Never
have I been more proud
of the strutting finger snap of a woman scorned,
carrying the earthquake stretching in her hips,
of the marching tap-dance misshape in my toes, bunion, and corn,
the fantastical saxophone in my voice,

Never
have I been more proud of the forbidden love of this land,
the large worn
lines and wrinkles of my mother's hands,
to be a woman
of
this
color
now, still.

There is more.
So much more
to come
and
go

This morning,
at the wake
of a Harlem dawn
yawning on the sweet brown-sugar blanket
hugging my bones,
I awoke a splinter in the wild forest of this country's eyes
shrugging at the worries of yesterday
floating down the enormous spine of Malcom X blvd
I could feel a humming in our gaze
an infectious spirit in our lilac children
and I watched as a police officer
pale-ridden as the ghost of his ancestors,
hugged a stinging homeless sun-man
carrying the weight of forgotten shores in his eyes

what awe it is to have lived
in this day, on this morning
of all days
and all mornings.

c.aja-monet



(Election night in Harlem C.2008 By Aja-Monet)

WOMEN: maybe this matters...

Dated September 13, 2008

So, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not so sure where I fit among my male counterparts in this artistic realm of performing and literary arts but I've been going through this phase of investing more energy into the feminine. and i'm tired of feeling estranged. Not in the ways that we most stereotypically assume but it seems I lacked a certain degree of encouragement on that side. Its quite strange actually. I have grown up around a lot of stern and strong minded women but it did no good for the ways in which I defined 'woman' and all that it entailed. In fact, most of those women are regarded as highly aggressive and masculine because of their strength and yet possess this rather humbling vulnerability to a man's presence and in particular those whom they love dearly. It's so much more complex than the average person cares to understand. I've been having a lot of internal conflict with my womanhood and how i should define it, my sexuality and those who make their business to comment on it when im not there, the ways in which any woman with any ounce of power or voice and strength is constantly and continually facing ambiguous forces but I digress, I am currently away at Omega Institute participating in a Women & Courage conference held here annually. I was invited after conducting a workshop that I do called 'surrendering to the metaphor: a search for meaning' (its a more holistic approach to performance and poetry, looking at metaphor and articulation as a healing mechanism etc) Anywho, when I did this workshop here earlier this summer a lovely woman from the Women's Institute here at Omega came to sit in on my workshop. She enjoyed the work that I was doing and I believe in some way shape or form she gained something and I was invited to participate in this years Women & Courage conference.

This leads me to writing this blog. I keep vowing to entertain more folks with my thoughts and concerns via internet but all I seem to gain out of this function is a few good excuses to change my profile pictures, receive friendly comments and messages, in hopes that some great miracle allows massive amounts of people to all of a sudden be concerned with who or what i am. and in the process what it is that i do and love. how vain the internet has made me. i realize more and more how important it seems for a woman to look beautiful on these things. maybe then you can get more profile views and perhaps even more blog reads and audio listens because you're pretty enough to be payed attention to... i hope then, that my beauty pleases you. thank God you are reading this now. grammar errors and all. may that prove nothing of my integrity and intelligence.

never mind my issues with sexism. I rather address an altogether neglected issue, feminine energy, female encouragement, and how that translates into creating substantial relationship and support and a weighing of our intelligences. It seems we are in a miraculous time. I know this has been said before about many eras in our history. but this time fascinates me more so because of the collective consciousness and in particular, after being half way through this conference here at Omega, with all these women coming together discussing so many crucial issues, and more importantly sharing stories and love. I have realized in a very new way how magnificent we truly are. In ways that transcends our pathos and validates our voice and spirit.

so many men will preach about 'queen' will talk about women and how they're all heavenly and gifts of light etc. yet they lack the basic principle of what it is that we are, the ways in which even our faults are dictated and how we need to free our spirits from constant repression . there is no real connection in ways that offer validation and healthy confrontation. it is incredible how many wounds women carry. how often we seek validation from everything and one but ourselves. it is only until our wounds are validated by the other that we the healing begin to take place. the ways we internalize the relationships with our mothers and lack there of with our fathers. in spite of all of this i have learned to channel this sense of true pride and ownership of a true and divine female energy that often times is mocked or devalued. i challenge the ladies to dare and be courageous in the dwelling of our emotional and spiritual intelligence. its okay to admit we have no clue. leave it to men to prove they know everything, they're ruled by their minds when absorbed in their masculine energy. egos and all that machisimo. it is up to our true beauty to set examples of a true courage that only mothers can foster and sisters can share, only daughters can learn...

well, i wanted to use this forum to create discussion and incite the connection between us all. the internet is a mimic of collective unconsciousness. i figure we start somewhere. and be it good or bad i rather us deal with the issue at hand. yes we are facing a very political time with the current state of elections. but something that has trailed the subject of conversation at this conference is how being a woman does not mean you are in tune with the feminine energy you possess. dont forget that both women and men have feminine energy and masculine energy and if I must say so myself, it seems Obama is much more in tune with the balance of that energy, in ways that begs for peace, offers change, and nurtures a true spirit of hope that every women has learned to enable from birth. Sarah Palin, I am ashamed of everything you represent in the name of a God I so love and devote myself to...im certain it isn't your fault to have been raised in the way that you have, but i surely hope for the sake all women and people, may you become accountable for the world you live in ways that forces you to see beyond your repressions and the ways in which you hope to and continue to repress the women around you.

it seems the nature of this discussion will fall on deaf ears or even may carelessly be put aside as a gender issue. but i've come to discern a far greater fear for a human threat in doing so...

if i am writing this blog for anything... it is for every woman i have ever come across and never said thank you to. for being a reservoir of some of the most remarkable healing energy in the grandest gifts of God. there's no support like that of a woman and to all that have ever even remotely been concerned with what it is i hope to do with my life or share, thank you, thank you for even pretending to care, for fighting the better half that has brought us among each other as competitors. let us make joy a deliberate choice in spite of our adversities.

may your hands be extensions of your heart and may we do the work of love with them. women, remember to pleasure yourself...to enjoy the beauty in your breasts, your thighs, your mouth, your stomach,your toes more importantly--your vaginas...every little being of you is an extension of the God we so love, graciously. remember this.
especially on days when your desire is the butt of the patriarchal worlds joke.


i'm not sure how much more i will learn to compromise myself in a world where i want to be nothing but the ambiguous creature God has made me...to not be limited and defined by my identity but to be given a space where i can nurture an appetite for exploration, growth, change, hope, and love.

women, we must forgive our mothers. for the things we're mad they didn't have the capability to teach us. forgive ourselves for ever wanting anything less from the world. for ever wanting anything more. learn to strip every ounce of this life for whatever joy it can bring you.

men. lovely men... you are not perfect. no one expects you to be. stop fooling yourself. your ego wont miss you when you leave it. let go. yall are so beautiful in so many ways you wont even allow yourself to be. challenge each other in more ways than physical. i get it. you guys like the body. you enjoy the energy that manifests itself in the body. learn that your body is a temple, a tool, a vehicle of traveling. it doesnt end here. i challenge you to help me learn how to love you to let me help you show how to love me. i challenge us to work together in ways we never prepared for...to create a world of true harmonious energy, at the very least we have to work towards a love our children can feel, and look forward to...


i have so much to say about this. about everything i have been feeling and thinking since i was a little girl. the ways ive learned courage. i don't know too much but what i've experience and felt and the ways of dealing with that is what translates into some sort of substantial wisdom. i'm trying. i'm hoping to grow. i may not always be the most exemplary of women but im not asking for women to be exemplary or to fulfill some impossible idea of perfection...in fact i am hoping we embrace our flaws and find the beauty in that...to rejuvenate the healer in us...the creative energy that can only build and love, and the scorn that truly only asks for appreciation and validation,
this discussion is so much more for our healing process than any harboring of negative energy. release. breathe. and remember the power of your words.



always,
aja
trying to grow.